Living Wills
Living Wills
Aliya – Lisa’s Mom
Noah – Lisa’s Dad
A Living Will specifies your healthcare preferences, particularly about life-sustaining treatment, if you’re unable to communicate. A Healthcare Power of Attorney (POA) designates someone to make medical decisions on your behalf under similar circumstances. An Advance Directive combines these elements, laying out treatment preferences and appointing a decision-maker, offering comprehensive guidance for your healthcare wishes.
Lisa’s parents both had living wills that documented their wishes in writing in case they were unable to make decisions for themselves.
Sitting in the softly lit hospital room next to her mom, Lisa wrestled with a decision that seemed to grow heavier by the minute. Her vibrant mom, who used to fill every room with laughter, was now silent, her life tethered to the relentless beeps and hums of machines.
Lisa and her family had thought they were prepared, armed with living wills drafted in healthier times. But now, faced with the stark reality of her mom’s condition, Lisa felt the limitations of those documents pressing in.
Lisa knew that putting her mom on a feeding tube and ventilator would just prolong her suffering, and that was against her mom’s wishes. Lisa had submitted the living will, which her mom had put together many years ago when she was much younger, to the hospital the day she was admitted. The problem, however, was that her living will clearly stated that she should be kept alive using a ventilator and artificially supplied nutrition if necessary. Also, her living will did not document what measures should be taken at the end of her life to keep her comfortable.
The air was heavy with sorrow as Lisa and her siblings gathered around their mom’s bed, each grappling with the impending loss. “I’m not sure this is what Mom would have wanted,” Lisa confided to her brother, during one of their vigils.
Her brother’s face, a mask of grief, struggled with the dilemma. “But her living will, Lisa… We must consider it, right?”
Lisa shook her head, her voice a mere whisper. “People change! What Mom wanted years ago isn’t what she’d want now, not with all this suffering.”
Aunt Aliya offered her gentle wisdom. “Lisa, love, you’ve always understood your mom. It’s not just what’s written on paper. It’s about honoring who she was.”
Talking to the medical team didn’t make things easier. Dr. Evans, compassionate and patient, met with Lisa to discuss the difficult path ahead. “We want to respect your mother’s living will, Lisa, but we also want to prioritize her comfort,” he said, kindness in his gaze.
Torn between the written word of the living will and her deep understanding of her mom’s spirit, Lisa found herself at a crossroads. “If only we’d updated her will,” she lamented to Dr. Evans. “She wouldn’t have wanted to continue like this.”
Dr. Evans nodded, his empathy palpable. “It’s a common struggle, Lisa. Families often find themselves navigating between a document and the reality before them. We’ll focus on making her as comfortable as possible.”
In a conversation with her dad about documents, the light bulb finally went on… “I think we did a healthcare POA a long time ago. Remember, when your friends had an accident, and you were both so rattled.”
“It’s probably in one of the boxes in the storage facility.” her dad responded.
Lisa went the next morning to the storage facility and found the signed copy of healthcare POA. Excited that they may have found a way to circumvent the wishes in her mom’s Living Will.
Lisa and her dad took the POA to Dr. Evans the very next morning. Dr. Evans explained that “POA cannot override the wishes stated in a living will. The appointed agent of the Living Will must try to follow these wishes documented in the Will.”
Lisa advocated tirelessly for palliative care to ease her mom’s final days. Those days blurred into a procession of hushed conversations, silent tears, and the constant, mechanical symphony of life-sustaining equipment.
When her mom passed, Lisa was left with a mix of relief and profound sorrow, haunted by the thought that the living will might have prolonged her mom’s suffering against her true wishes.
Determined to turn her pain into purpose, Lisa became a vocal advocate for regularly revisiting and updating living wills. Through sharing her story, Lisa hoped to light the way for others at the complex crossroads of life’s end, advocating for the living wills that truly echo our voices when we can no longer speak for ourselves.
Sister’s Living Will
The hospital room was filled with the soft beeping of monitors and the gentle hum of the ventilation system. The blank white walls were a stark contrast to the warmth and comfort of the home they had shared for so many years. Erica sat by the bedside, her eyes fixed on Joanna, who lay motionless, her breathing shallow and labored. Her older sister was now unable to communicate, lost in a fog of dementia and illness.
Erica reached out and gently took Joanna’s hand, she glanced at the living will that lay on the bedside table, the document that had become her lifeline in these difficult times. It was a clear symbol to Joanna’s foresight and love, outlining her wishes for her care when she could no longer speak for herself.
The door to the room opened, and a nurse entered, offering a compassionate smile. “How are you holding up, Erica?”
Erica managed a small smile in return. “I’m doing okay, thank you. Just taking it one day at a time.”
The nurse nodded, her eyes filled with understanding. “If you need anything, just let us know. We’re here to help.”
As the nurse left, Erica turned her attention back to Joanna. “Joanna,” she whispered, “I know you can’t hear me, but I need to tell you how grateful I am for everything you’ve done.”
Her voice trembled with emotion as she continued. “You always looked out for me, and even now, you’re still taking care of me. This living will… It’s made such a difference. I don’t have to guess what you would want. I can honor your wishes, just like you wanted.”
Erica wiped away a tear that had slipped down her cheek. “I remember when you insisted on writing it. I didn’t understand then, but now I do. You wanted to make sure I’d be okay, no matter what happened. And because of you, I can be strong for both of us.”
She squeezed Joanna’s hand gently, feeling the weight of the responsibility but also the strength that came from knowing she was fulfilling her sister’s wishes. “I promise I’ll take care of everything, Joanna. Just like you would have wanted. You’re not alone. I’m here, and I’ll always be here.”
The room was silent except for the rhythmic beeping of the machines. Erica felt a sense of peace wash over her, knowing that she was doing everything she could to honor her sister’s wishes. The living will had given her a roadmap, a way to navigate the difficult decisions that had to be made.
As the evening light began to fade, Erica leaned in and kissed Joanna’s forehead. “I love you, Joanna. Thank you for everything. Rest now, knowing that I’ll take care of you, just like you always took care of me.”
Erica settled into the chair beside the bed, holding Joanna’s hand and watching over her. The living will, an emblem of Joanna’s love and foresight, had provided the guidance and strength Erica needed to face this difficult journey. And for that, she would always be grateful.
Dad’s Living Will
Jonathan sat beside his father’s bed, the sterile smell of the hospital filling his nostrils. His dad, who had constantly been so full of life, lay still, connected to machines that kept him alive. The living will his father had created years ago now felt like a burden.
Jonathan’s father, Noah, had always been clear about his wishes. He didn’t want to be kept alive artificially if there was no hope of recovery. But the living will stated he should be kept alive with a ventilator and feeding tube if necessary, without specifying when enough was enough.
Jonathan’s sister, Cora, sat across from him, her eyes red from crying. “I don’t think this is what Dad would want,” she said softly.
Jonathan nodded, his throat tight. “I know, but the living will is clear. It’s so hard to know what to do.”
Their Aunt Rhonda, who had been close to their father, added, “He made that will a long time ago. People change. What he wanted then might not be what he’d want now.”
The doctors were sympathetic but firm. Dr. Viro met with Jonathan and Cora to discuss their options. “We want to honor your father’s living will, but we also need to consider his current condition and comfort,” he said.
Jonathan felt torn. “If we follow the will, he might suffer longer than he would want. But if we go against it, are we dishonoring his wishes?”
Dr. Viro sighed. “It’s never easy. Our goal is to provide the best care possible, focusing on his comfort.”
Jonathan remembered a conversation he had with his father years ago after a friend had passed away. “I don’t ever want to be a burden,” Noah had said. “If I can’t enjoy life, let me go.”
The realization hit Jonathan like a wave. “Dad didn’t want this,” he said to Cora. “We need to focus on his comfort, just like he would have wanted.”
The siblings worked with Dr. Viro to transition their father to palliative care. It was a heart-wrenching decision, but they knew it was the right one. They spent the next few days by his side, sharing stories and holding his hand, providing the comfort he had always given them.
When Noah passed, Jonathan and Cora felt a sense of peace amidst their grief. They had honored their father’s true wishes, focusing on his comfort rather than prolonging his suffering. Determined to help others avoid the same heartache, Jonathan began advocating for clear, updated living wills that truly reflect a person’s current wishes. He shared his father’s story, hoping to guide others through the difficult decisions at the end of life.
