Mariya – Lisa’s Aunt
Elder abuse encompasses various forms of maltreatment of older adults, typically those over the age of 60. It can manifest in several ways, including physical, emotional, sexual abuse, financial exploitation, neglect, and abandonment. About 1 in 6 people aged 60 and older experienced some form of abuse.
When Lisa and her mom arrived at Aunt Mariya’s after a month of mother daughter bonding experience. Lisa’s mom quickly identified that her sister was walking funny.
“Mariya, why are you walking with a limp?” Aliya asked with concern.
“Oh! I fell a few days after you left and then I tried to get up and that made me fall again.” Mariya recounted with a laugh, “It was like I was practicing for a slapstick comedy role. So, then I just lay on the floor in the kitchen and waited for someone to help.”
“Where was the caregiver?” Aliya asked, trying not to show her anger.
“She was watching her favorite show on TV, I called out to her, but the TV volume was too high. She came looking for me when the show was done.” Mariya recounted as if that was a normal occurrence.
“You seem to have lost weight in a month, how is your appetite?” Aliya asked, starting her official investigation.
“I just don’t like fried foods and pies. I asked the caregiver to get me some fruits and Ensure. She told me that kids have told her to serve the meals she is serving. I do think that it’s the food she really wants to eat.” Mariya said matter-of-factly.
As Lisa’s mom looked at her sister top to bottom to see what else was wrong. She said with alarm “Where are your gold bangles?”
“I don’t know where they are. They went missing one day. I have asked the caregiver to look for them many times. She tells me I probably took them off and put them somewhere. She says they will probably just show up someday. I am waiting for that day.” Mariya said with a smile.
“OK! Mom, let’s go get the rest of the stuff from the car.” Lisa motioned her mom to go outside so they could discuss their concerns.
As they walked out, Lisa preempted her mom and said “Should we take Aunt Mariya to the Village and go through all of this with the ED? I can agree with your concerns, and this does not look good. Obviously bringing it to the cousin’s attention is just useless, he will get defensive, since he hired the caregiver against your advice.” Lisa gave her mom a hug of support and comfort.
As they sat down with the Executive Director of the local Age-in-Place Village, she quickly assessed the situation and called an investigator that was also a member of the Village. His professionalism was a comforting presence amid their turmoil, and he volunteered to deliver the news directly to Lisa’s cousin.
Lisa’s cousin was taken aback by this sudden development, powerless as the investigator exposed the caregiver’s troubling history. “The caregiver you’ve employed has a record of elder abuse,” the investigator revealed, his tone leaving no room for ambiguity. “She needs to be removed immediately.”
“Lisa, I know what you did,” he accused her over the phone, his voice thick with anger and betrayal. “Going to the authorities behind our backs? If you expect your mother to stay here, this will never happen again.”
Lisa, distancing herself from the harshness of his words, remained calm. She knew they had acted out of necessity, for Aunt Mariya’s sake.
The call ended, leaving a resonating silence that spoke volumes of their resolve. In their story, a new chapter was written. One of bravery, decisive action, and the firm belief that when it came to safeguarding their loved ones, no action was too bold, no potential family discord too intimidating to face head-on.
Sylvia’s Story
When Megan and her mother, Evie, arrived at Aunt Sylvia’s house for a visit, they quickly sensed something was amiss. Sylvia was usually full of life, but today she seemed subdued, her movements slower and more cautious.
“Megan, do you see how Aunt Sylvia is walking? That doesn’t seem usual for her,” Evie whispered as they watched Sylvia from the living room.
Megan nodded. “Let’s talk to her and see what’s going on.”
Evie approached her sister gently. “Sylvia, you look like you’re in pain. What happened?”
Sylvia hesitated, then sighed. “I fell a few days ago. I was reaching for something on a high shelf and lost my balance.”
Evie’s concern deepened. “And where was the caregiver? Isn’t she supposed to be helping you?”
Sylvia shrugged. “She was out getting groceries. I didn’t want to bother her.”
Megan exchanged a worried look with her mother. “Aunt Sylvia, have you been eating properly? You seem to have lost weight.”
Sylvia looked down. “I’ve been asking the caregiver for more fruits and vegetables, but she keeps bringing me the fast food she likes.”
Evie’s face hardened with determination. “This isn’t right, Sylvia. You shouldn’t be treated this way and I am going to fix it.”
As they prepared to leave, Megan noticed Sylvia wasn’t wearing her necklace. “Aunt Sylvia, what happened to your necklace? I’ve never seen you take it off.”
Sylvia’s eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know. It disappeared a few weeks ago. I asked the caregiver, but she said I probably misplaced it.”
Evie turned to Megan. “We need to get Sylvia help. Let’s find someone who can guide us.”
They went to the local community center and spoke with the director, who listened intently. “We’ll conduct an investigation immediately,” she promised, contacting the authorities.
The investigation revealed that the caregiver had a history of negligence and theft. “She will be removed from her position immediately and face the consequences of her actions,” the investigator said firmly.
When Evie’s cousin was informed he was shocked. “I had no idea about this when I hired her to help my mom. Thank you for caring about her and bringing this to light.”
With the caregiver gone, Sylvia began to regain her strength and confidence. Evie and Megan visited often, ensuring she received the care and attention she deserved.
“Sylvia, you’re looking so much better,” Evie said during one visit, relief evident in her voice.
“Thank you for everything,” Sylvia replied, her eyes shining with gratitude. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t noticed how I was being treated.”
The experience taught them the importance of vigilance and advocacy, reaffirming their commitment to protecting their loved ones.
Alma’s Story
Camille had been Alma’s caregiver for six months now. Every morning, she would arrive at the suburban home, bringing hot coffee for Alma, an elderly woman with mild dementia. But lately, Alma’s family had noticed changes, subtle yet concerning.
It started with Alma’s medication. Fiona, Alma’s daughter, noticed that the prescriptions were running out faster than usual. When she asked her mother, Alma seemed unsure, her hands trembling as she fumbled with the pill bottles. “I must’ve forgotten, dear,” she said, eyes filled with confusion.
Fiona tried to brush it off until she noticed the bank statements. Unopened envelopes and unpaid bills were stacked haphazardly on the kitchen table. Alma’s accounts showed unusual withdrawals and transactions. When Fiona gently inquired, Alma’s response was always the same—confusion and uncertainty.
Camille, the caregiver, seemed to be around more often. Her once friendly demeanor had turned controlling. She dismissed Alma’s forgetfulness, attributing it to her age. But her overbearing presence made Fiona uneasy.
Alma’s demeanor had changed too. The once cheerful woman had become withdrawn and anxious, especially around Camille. She second-guessed her memories, often looking to Camille for confirmation. Her influence over Alma was growing, and Fiona felt helpless to stop it.
One evening, Fiona and her brother Colin were discussing Alma’s situation. Colin had started noticing Alma’s stress and exhaustion. “Something’s not right,” Fiona confided. “Mom’s medication is disappearing, her money is going missing, and she’s unhappy.”
Colin’s concern mirrored her own. “We need to visit her more often,” he said. Fiona and Colin decided it was time for a family intervention.
On Alma’s birthday, Fiona and Colin arrived with their children, surprising everyone. The atmosphere was tense as they observed more inconsistencies. Alma seemed relieved when Camille left the room, her fear palpable.
That night, they sat down with Alma, piecing together the subtle signs of abuse and manipulation. “Camille’s been taking advantage of you,” Fiona said, anger and sorrow in her voice. “We have to protect you.”
Armed with their suspicions, Fiona and Colin confronted Camille. She denied everything, but Alma, supported by her family, found the courage to speak out. Authorities were called, and Camille was removed from Alma’s life.
With Camille gone, Fiona and Colin worked together to create a safe and supportive environment for Alma. The bond between them grew stronger, rooted in trust and resilience.
Alma learned the importance of vigilance and support, realizing that even the smallest signs could hide a shadow of abuse. Together, they ensured Alma’s remaining years were filled with love and security, banishing the silent shadows that had haunted her life.