Abuse Investigations
Abuse Investigations
Ruby – My Mom
Elder abuse involves harm to older adults in various forms, such as physical, emotional, or financial abuse, typically perpetrated by those close to them. The complexity of identifying true abuse is heightened as some reports may stem from the natural increase in agitation among seniors.
As I entered my parents’ room in assisted living, my mom was ready with her complaints “I don’t like how they handle me, Rosie,” she had said, her voice revealing a vulnerability that cut straight to my heart. “They push and grip too tightly. It’s not right. They hurt me.”
“I have told your dad last night, and I just cannot believe he took their side” She added looking at dad with anger.
Dad looked really puzzled and very bothered, he looked at mom and said “Love, I told you I will talk to Rosie and the Executive Director to make sure they treat you with love and kindness. Don’t be upset. I am on your side.”
Dad and I left the room to address the staff situation.
“Dad, let’s go to the courtyard and let the two of us get on the same page.”
Dad, always a man of deep insight, shared his observations. “I’ve seen them, Rosie,” he said with a calm assurance. “They do hold her firm, but it’s only to keep her safe. Your mother, as you know, has been wandering at night, lost.”
“I’ve watched them closely,” Dad assured me, his gaze locking with mine, imparting a certainty that began to ease my fears. “They’re gentle, even when she resists. They’re safeguarding her from her own confusion.”
“However, I would like to see if they have camera footage from the night so we can validate my assumptions” He added, as always thorough in his analysis.
We sat down with the Executive Director, and I started “For everyone’s peace of mind, could we watch any video you may have of the interaction between my mom and your staff last night. My mom thinks they abused her. I am sure you would want to know as much as we do what transpired last night?”
The Executive Director was ready for the discussion as my mom had already complained to her favorite caregiver this morning.
We watched the footage together and I certainly could see what the staff were trying to do. We all reached an agreement that if my mom ever leaves the room, they should wake up my dad.
“There is no one better than my dad at getting mom to do what she needs to and also he is the best at keeping her calm.” I added.
Plans put into action, we went back to the room and dad in his gentle way assured mom that would not happen again.
As I was leaving, I ran into the Executive Director, who had started to become a friend. She confided in me that one of the reasons she took this job and quit her high-powered consulting job was because her dad suffered elder abuse. She explained how she did not believe her dad for months, as he was a champion complainer.
“One day I entered his room, while he was still in his boxer shorts, and I saw the bruises on his legs and arms.” I don’t think I can ever get over that. I can never forgive myself for not believing him.
This journey from suspicion to understanding filled me with gratitude for the Executive Director and my dad. I gained a profound respect for the silent dedication of these caregivers, who navigated the fine line between ensuring safety and respecting dignity with grace. It also highlighted the need for never ignoring reports of abuse.
Silent Tears
Kendell and Her Parents’ Story
Kendall arrived at her parents’ house, greeted by the familiar aroma of her mother’s cooking. As she entered the living room, she found her mother, Kathline, sitting quietly, her usually vibrant face clouded with worry.
“Mom, what’s wrong?” Kendall asked, taking a seat next to her.
Kathline hesitated, her hands trembling slightly. “Kendall, something’s not right. I think someone’s been hurting me.”
Kendall’s heart skipped a beat. “Hurting you? What do you mean?”
Kathline showed Kendall bruises on her arms and wrists. “I woke up with these bruises, and I don’t know how they got there. My memory is foggy and filled with gaps. I told your father, but he thinks I’m just being clumsy.”
Kendall turned to her father, Thomas, who was reading in his chair, oblivious to the conversation. “Dad, did you see these bruises on Mom?” she asked, attempting to keep her voice even.
Thomas looked up, confusion in his eyes. “Kathline, you’ve always been a bit unsteady. Are you sure you didn’t bump into something?”
Kathline’s eyes welled up with tears. “I guess so, I have always been a bit clumsy.”
Yet, Kendall still felt disturbed and wanted to make sure that nothing was amiss. “Mom, I am just going to check around the house and see if there’s anything out of place.”
They began their investigation, looking for any clues that might explain the bruises. In the kitchen, Kendall noticed the step stool her mother often used. “Mom, do you use this a lot?” she asked.
Kathline nodded. “Yes, for reaching the top shelves.”
Kendall examined the stool and found it slightly wobbly. “This could be it, but we should also consider if someone might be coming into the house.”
Thomas, now more concerned, joined them. “Kendall, what are you suggesting?”
“Let’s install some cameras, Dad. Just for our peace of mind,” Kendall suggested.
Thomas agreed, and over the next few days, they set up cameras around the house. They also took Kathline to the doctor to check for any medical conditions that might cause bruising but found none.
A week later, they reviewed the footage and discovered a shocking truth. A neighbor who had a key for emergencies had been entering the house while they slept, searching for valuables and roughing up Kathline when she stirred.
Thomas, shaken by the discovery, apologized to Kathline. “I’m so sorry I doubted you, love. We’ll make sure this never happens again.”
The family took immediate action and reported the incidents to the authorities. Thomas and Kendall also made a point to check in on Kathline more frequently and reassured her that she was safe. Although the trust in their neighbor was shattered, Kathline felt more supported than ever, knowing her family stood by her side, ready to protect her.
A Sister’s Shield
Autumn, Jake, and Paula’s Story
Autumn planned a visit to her mother, Paula, who had moved into her brother Jake’s house when her health started declining. The visit, intended as a family catch-up, quickly turned tense when Autumn noticed purplish bruises on Paula’s wrists, not fully covered by her long sleeve shirt.
“Mom, what happened to your arms?” Autumn asked worriedly, scooting closer and lifting her mother’s sleeves.
Paula glanced nervously in Jake’s direction, who was busy in the kitchen. “Oh, it’s nothing to worry about, dear. Just a few bumps at night. You know how accident-prone I can be sometimes.”
Autumn wasn’t convinced. “Mom, these don’t look like normal bruises. They look like someone grabbed you hard.”
Jake walked in, overhearing their conversation. “She’s just been a bit unsteady lately. It’s nothing to worry about, Autumn.”
Autumn wasn’t satisfied with Jake’s dismissive response but waited until he left to clear up the dishes. “Mom, has Jake been rough with you?”
Paula’s eyes darted around the room, her fear evident. “No, Jake would never… it’s just accidents.”
Autumn, unresolved and feeling anxious for her mother’s well-being, decided to stay with them for a few days and observe closely. She noticed Jake’s temper flaring at small things and his rough handling of their mother when he thought Autumn wasn’t looking.
One evening, Autumn confronted Jake after their mother had gone to bed. “Jake, I’ve seen how you treat Mom. This is unacceptable and you need to control your anger.”
Jake’s face flushed with rage. “You don’t understand, Autumn. I’m the only one taking care of her, you are just a visitor. You don’t see how difficult she is to manage sometimes. I’m doing my best given the situation.”
Autumn’s resolve hardened. “Your best isn’t good enough if it means hurting her. We need to fix this now or I can’t have her stay here.”
They decided to have a family meeting the next day. With Autumn’s input, they agreed that Paula needed professional help. They hired a caregiver who was trained to handle Paula’s needs with the gentleness and patience she deserved.
Paula, feeling safer, tried her best to relax now that her mother was looked after. Jake, relieved from the stress of caregiving, found his temper easing as well.
Months later, Autumn visited and found Paula in good spirits. “Mom, you look so much better,” Autumn said, hugging her.
Paula smiled. “Thanks to you, Autumn. You protected me when I couldn’t protect myself.”
Autumn nodded, feeling a mix of relief and pride. “I will always look out for you, Mom. Always.”
These experiences taught Autumn and Jake the importance of vigilance, open communication, and the willingness to seek help, ensuring that their loved ones are treated with the utmost care and respect.