Shared Housing with other Care Recipients

Shared Housing

Sami – My Uncle

A shared housing solution for a senior might involve the senior offering a room at a reduced rent in their home in exchange for the tenant performing household tasks such as cleaning, shopping, or yard work. This arrangement not only makes housing more affordable but also provides the senior with practical help and companionship, enhancing their quality of life.

When Uncle Sami proudly announced his plans to buy a two-story house in San Diego, citing its superior investment potential, I couldn’t help but wonder about the logistics. “So, what’s the plan for the second floor?” I asked, already envisioning him turning it into a museum of unused spaces, given his notorious knee troubles.

He just shrugged, the universal sign of ‘I haven’t thought that far ahead.’

I remembered my neighbor Jane, who’d recently found joy and companionship in shared living. She and her roommate were now the “Thelma and Louise of San Diego”, minus the cliff dive, of course. Their biggest battle? A spirited debate on the Keystone pipeline, which they recounted to me with the intensity of a presidential debate, minus the podiums.

“How did you two end up as roomies?” I inquired over lattes one sunny afternoon.

“Elder Help of San Diego,” they said, almost in harmony. Jane turned into an impromptu spokeswoman, detailing how the nonprofit played matchmaker for seniors seeking housemates.

Armed with this golden nugget of information, I pitched the idea to Uncle Sami. “Think about it, shared living could be fun,” I suggested, only to be met with a look that said, ‘Are you kidding me?’

But I wasn’t about to give up. Seeing that he saw me as his only social interaction and how he expected me to perform it as a full-time job was getting overwhelming. Also, I was by far not qualified for that job either. 

“Here is the deal, I will help you find the best two-story house that will likely appreciate the most in San Diego, and you agree to having a renter for the second floor. This way your house appreciates, and you also make a monthly income.” I said, trying to seal the deal. Thinking in my mind when the carrot works, reuse it, again and again!

He mulled over it, the gears turning. “And if I don’t like them?”

“We can do a separate entrance and you have to never see them. But let’s face it, you need company, and your knees need a break from the stairs. How wasteful would it be to have a second floor empty, when you can convert it into a money-making machine.”

The deal clenching point came with a stroke of genius or desperation. “As a bonus for agreeing to the deal, I have already spent non-refundable money on improv classes.” I continued as he looked at me like had grown a pair of horns. “You are just so amazing at creatively experiencing your opinions, I really think you will enjoy this class.”

“Young lady, this is the absolute last time you pay for a gift for me without asking me if I want it.” said Uncle Sam with a commanding voice.

“Now that defeats the purpose of a gift, don’t you think?” I said not wanting to give up that power to coax him into taking other classes. I quickly added before he could debate that further. “You are only obligated to go to 3 classes, if you don’t like them, you don’t have to go. I signed up with a deal, so classes 4-10 are included free of charge.”

With those words I wanted to end the discussion and leave for the night, so that he would not have any more chance to argue.

A text message from my daughter at that time was a life saver. I gave Uncle Sami a hug and said, “I have got to go, your grandniece needs you.”

Few months later, Uncle Sami moved into a two-story home in a beautiful San Diego neighborhood. The house had already been upgraded to have a full unit with kitchen and separate entrance. The backyard was beautiful with an ocean view. My housewarming gift to him was patio furniture that included two comfortable chairs and a dining table.

After rejecting at least 2 dozen choices of roommates, he finally ended up choosing a very nice widow. Her daughter who was battling cancer lived in the same neighborhood and she needed to live “walking distance” from her daughter’s home to help with childcare and meals. 

I convinced my uncle with “She is an amazing cook, doesn’t like to talk much and is a very good listener.” 

I schemed with her, “Please do not tell my uncle that you are a retired therapist. That confession alone will make him reject you.”

She nodded thoughtfully, her eyes reflecting a blend of humor and wisdom. “In my experience,” she began, adopting a tone of camaraderie, “leading with ‘I’m a therapist’ tends to cast a certain… let’s say, ‘intensity’ on initial encounters.” She winked and then added “Instead, I often opt for mentioning my love for seashell collecting, desire to cook and my fondness for classic cinema. Keeps the conversation light and engaging.”

This arrangement, borne of necessity, proved to be a serendipitous resolution, offering companionship and support to Uncle Sami while providing a home for someone else. A true win-win scenario that underscored the power of creative compromise and the unforeseen blessings of shared experiences.

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Grandma Laurel’s New Roommate

Quinn and Laurel’s Story

Quinn was surprised when her grandma Laurel announced her plan to downsize to a one-bedroom condo in the heart of San Francisco. Laurel had always been fiercely independent, and Quinn was concerned about how she would manage in a smaller space with her limited mobility.

“Grandma, are you sure about this?” Quinn asked during their weekly lunch date. “That’s a big change from the house you’ve lived in for the past thirty years.”

Laurel nodded. “I’ve thought it through. The house is too big, and I don’t need all that space. Plus, I like the idea of being in the city, closer to things.”

Quinn understood her grandmother’s desire for a change but couldn’t shake her worries about Laurel being alone. “How about having a roommate? It could be fun and give you some company.”

Laurel looked skeptical. “A roommate? At my age?”

Quinn thought of her friend Mora, who had recently moved in with another senior through a community program. “You know, Mora found a wonderful roommate through Senior Home Share. They match seniors with compatible housemates.”

Laurel raised an eyebrow. “I’ve never heard of that. How does it work?”

Quinn explained the process, showing her the website. “They help seniors find roommates based on interests and needs. It could be a great way to have some companionship and help with the rent.”

Laurel sighed, considering the idea. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to look into it.”

After signing up, Laurel received several matches. Most didn’t seem right, but then she met Flora, a retired librarian who shared her love for books and gardening. They hit it off immediately during their first meeting at a local café.

“Flora seems lovely,” Quinn said after the meeting. “And she’s just as passionate about her plants as you are.”

Laurel smiled. “She does seem nice. Maybe this roommate thing isn’t such a bad idea after all.”

A few months later, Laurel moved into her new condo with Flora. They quickly became good friends, spending afternoons reading in their cozy living room or tending to their balcony garden. The companionship brought a new joy to Laurel’s life that she hadn’t expected.

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Uncle Edgar’s Big Move

Quinn and Laurel’s Story

Teresa had always admired her Uncle Edgar’s adventurous spirit. He had spent his youth traveling the world and collecting stories, but now, in his seventies, he was facing health issues that made it difficult for him to live alone. Edgar had always been a bit of a loner, preferring his own company, but Teresa knew he needed help.

“Uncle Edgar, have you thought about moving closer to your family? It would be easier for us to help you out,” Teresa suggested during a visit.

Edgar shook his head. “I appreciate the concern, Teresa, but I love my little cabin in the mountains. It’s peaceful here.”

Teresa sighed, knowing how much his independence meant to him. “I understand, but what about having someone live with you? It could make things easier.”

Edgar looked dubious. “You mean a roommate? I haven’t had a roommate since college.”

Teresa smiled. “It’s more common than you think. There’s a program that matches seniors with housemates. It’s called HomeShare. They help find someone compatible.”

Edgar scratched his head. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to look into it.”

After registering with HomeShare, Edgar received several profiles. He was skeptical at first but then met Daniel, a retired park ranger who shared his love for the outdoors. They bonded over their mutual appreciation for nature and a quiet lifestyle.

“Daniel seems like a good fit,” Teresa said after meeting him. “You both have a lot in common.”

Edgar nodded. “He does seem alright. Maybe this isn’t such a crazy idea.”

A few weeks later, Daniel moved into the cabin. The adjustment took time, but soon, Edgar found that having Daniel around was actually enjoyable. They went on hikes, shared meals, and swapped stories about their adventures. The companionship brought a new sense of vitality to Edgar’s life.

One evening, as they sat on the porch watching the sunset, Edgar turned to Daniel and said, “You know, I never thought I’d enjoy having a roommate again. But I’m glad you’re here.”

Daniel smiled. “Me too, Edgar. Here’s to new adventures.”

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